Article Assassin: How to Write Content that Attracts an Audience and Makes Money

My toddler finally goes down...

Not peacefully.

More like a feral woodland creature finally collapsing after head-butting the crib rails for ten solid minutes.

I ease the door shut, take a breath, and check the clock.

Two hours.

Maybe three if the gods smile upon me.

This is the window where Evan Kelly becomes a writer.

Not because it’s convenient.

But because it’s the only moment in my day when no one is demanding snacks, screen time, or explanations about why Elmo isn’t real.

I sit at my desk.

Open a new doc.

And immediately the cursor starts blinking like it’s judging me.

My brain empties itself like someone pulled the plug.

I’ve got client articles due.

I’ve got my own articles that (allegedly) build my business.

And instead of writing, I’m fighting the blank page like a man trying to fistfight a ghost.

For months, this was my life:

• Start the intro.
• Delete the intro.
• Rewrite the intro.
• Delete the intro again because it reads like a drunk raccoon wrote it.

Meanwhile, the clock is sprinting, and the toddler is seconds away from waking up, ready to negotiate his post-nap snack like a mob boss.

And one day, after burning half a nap window on absolutely nothing, it hit me:

• I’m not slow.
• I’m not blocked.
• I’m just making this harder than a mortgage application.

The problem wasn’t writing.

The problem was the absence of a path.

So I built one.

And that path became Article Assassin — a writing system for people who don’t have the luxury of farting around waiting for inspiration to show up with a latte.

Inside, you’ll discover:

• Three proven headline formulas that grab attention faster than a toddler spotting a cookie
• The secret “stance” that keeps people reading, even if they have TikTok brain
• The four headline elements that cut through the noise (miss one and your article might as well be written in invisible ink)
• The trick that makes readers click, buy, or subscribe without feeling like you’re selling them a used Honda
• A proven formula that makes your content more addictive than black tar heroin (legally speaking)

It’s not theory.

It’s not convoluted gobbledygook.

It’s the system I use every single day to write fast, write clean, and get paid.

And here’s the part that will make you trust me more than any “guru” on the internet:

It’s only $9.

Less than the price of a coffee and a muffin.

And so compact, you’ll be done reading it before you finish both.

Why so cheap?

Because I want you to use it, get results, and then maybe—just maybe—buy one of my higher-priced offers.

This isn’t sainthood.

I’m not some altruistic moron who hates money.

Listen to this customer who bought the guide, got hooked, and then joined my community:

See?

I’m more like a drug dealer.

Give you the first hit for a measly $9…

...then sell you the premium stuff later.

I think they call that “marketing” or something.

If you want to stop fighting the blank page like it owes you money…

If you want a writing system you can actually finish before your coffee gets cold…

If you want to write faster, cleaner, and with fewer existential crises…

Then pick up Article Assassin for nine bucks.

Worst case?

It improves your writing.

Best case?

You end up addicted to my stuff and join the community like everyone else.

Either way… I win.

And honestly?

So do you.

Click the big button that says "I want this!" and give yourself a pat on the back just like this person 👇